Jacob is so smart and mature that sometimes I think I forget how old he is. He is so communicative, and we are able to talk and share…and then he does something totally out of character (but age-appropriate) and I have to remind myself that he is three. He is very perceptive of the moods of those around him, and has empathy–something so rare in a small child that his Bible study teachers commented on it two years ago. When I was crying about my grandma’s passing he offered to cheer me up with treasure, and proceeded to bring me his “treasure box” an old cigar box holding a whistle, flat penny, shiny marbles, and other things he has found and collected. I try to be respectful of his temperament–after all, who could deny that he probably inherited that empathy from me? It used to be so overwhelming for me to feel things so intensely. Only with time have I learned to be more selective in my empathizing. If I get too carried away, I won’t be able to function. Jacob is frustrating; he’s three years old and pushing boundaries is his developmental “job” right now. I am not perfect. I have lost my temper and raised my voice and I’ve seen that sunny face just crumble into tears. Of course, he is resilient, and I know he will move on, but I know each episode leaves a mark. Lately, he’s been getting mad at himself. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. Last week, probably out of frustration over my being gone and then coming home so sick and being bedridden for days, he got too hyped up and head butted me in the mouth while we were playing. I bled, and I was mad, and I asked him as calmly as I could WHY he did it. He said that he didn’t mean to, but then started to cry and get angry. I asked him why he was so upset and he said he was just “not happy with himself.” I don’t want to cause this young boy to be unhappy with himself! He’s very honest, and so I know that when I tell him that he is wonderful and smart he agrees with me in a sweet and unselfish way. I feel like all I can do at this point is be with him, give him my full attention, and show him how much he is loved. I don’t know what else to do.
